To Do While in Quarantine
March 31, 2020
- Try not to kill your family.
- Watch water droplets race down the window like you did when you were five because that’s literally the only sport that’s on.
- Lay out your yoga mat as if you were going to do yoga but then actually just do “final relaxation” for an hour
- Eat
- FaceTime your friends but end up just staring at each other because there’s nothing to talk about because you’ve been in isolation for two weeks
- Spend half of the day sleeping and the other half washing your hands.
- Reach the bottom of the TikTok For You Page.
- Swear you’ll never actually make a TikTok but end up learning renegade in the first hour of quarantine.
- Make a goal to read five new books but actually just read the whole Harry Potter series (or Percy Jackson. Pick your fighter).
- Ignore every single screen time limit you ambitiously set yourself.
- Go on your third “walk around the neighborhood” of the day with your mom.
- Freak out over every tickle in your throat. Remember that it’s allergy season and calm down until the next time you have to blow your nose.
- Drink four glasses of Emergency-C an hour, as if that’s going to help.
- Click on someone’s Instagram story approximately three seconds after they posted it.
- STAY THE F*** HOME.