To Do While in Quarantine

March 31, 2020

  • Try not to kill your family.
  • Watch water droplets race down the window like you did when you were five because that’s literally the only sport that’s on.
  • Lay out your yoga mat as if you were going to do yoga but then actually just do “final relaxation” for an hour
  • Eat
  • FaceTime your friends but end up just staring at each other because there’s nothing to talk about because you’ve been in isolation for two weeks
  • Spend half of the day sleeping and the other half washing your hands.
  • Reach the bottom of the TikTok For You Page.
  • Swear you’ll never actually make a TikTok but end up learning renegade in the first hour of quarantine.
  • Make a goal to read five new books but actually just read the whole Harry Potter series (or Percy Jackson. Pick your fighter).
  • Ignore every single screen time limit you ambitiously set yourself.
  • Go on your third “walk around the neighborhood” of the day with your mom.
  • Freak out over every tickle in your throat. Remember that it’s allergy season and calm down until the next time you have to blow your nose.
  • Drink four glasses of Emergency-C an hour, as if that’s going to help.
  • Click on someone’s Instagram story approximately three seconds after they posted it.
  • STAY THE F*** HOME.
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