The Smell: a KLOGG Investigation

March 31, 2020

On Friday the 13th of March, students at Mount Greylock reported an overwhelming stench upon entering the building. Investigations revealed that the first odor came from the bathroom near the lunch room, where oranges and forks were found shoved down a toilet. 

The silent shover had struck again. 

The bathroom near the math classes had been similarly assaulted. Sewage water had spilled everywhere. Teachers evacuated the classrooms.

The smell? Repugnant.

A group of students walked in the front door, where Principal MacDonald stopped them. The news was out. All classes on the first floor were moved to the cafeteria and auditorium. 

“I didn’t know what to do. That hallway was the best! The math classes were unavailable and it was a nightmare,” said Taurus Annie Art. “I can’t describe what was going through my mind. I don’t even know who I am without math class.”

Keeping Lavatories Open by Getting Gossip (KLOGG) has been asking students and teachers for information on these matters. This organization is run by members of the Eggplant Detective staff. 

An anonymous teacher told KLOGG that the incident on March 13th was a paper towel fiasco. An unnamed student had consciously decided to shove countless paper towels down the toilet after using the bathroom, flush the toilet, and run. If this student is found, the police department does plan to press “Shove and Run” charges. 

Another source told KLOGG that a student boycotting their Pre-Calc lesson flushed all their teachers’ calculators down the academic wing’s first floor toilets. 

“I can’t believe anyone would do that,” said Art. “The poor precious TI-30XIIS.”

In a survey completed by KLOGG, only ten percent of students believe that spoons will be next. Forty-five percent said it will be clothing items, and the other ninety percent think that it will be tests and notes. 

Other smells have been reported recently at Mount Greylock, but KLOGG has no reason to believe it was the silent shover.

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