In This Issue: 

Snews & Spoofs:

• Mount Greylock Attendance Decreases By Seventy Percent
• 1 in 650: An Interview with a Horrible Student
• The Daily Grind: 8:30 PM to 3:40 AM
• Admin Debates Phone Policy While Keeping Student Access to Minecraft in Mind
• Additional latin Teacher Hired
• Student Council lCollapse Imminent
• AI Chatbot Profiles
• Intrinsic Motivation in Senior Class
• BREAKING: MCWEENY IS A FELON
• Science Stays Outside Forever
• Local Eggplant Writer Turns In Thirty Thousand Word Article (30,000??(
• Students Physically Punished for Being Tardy
• Student Art Feature
• Study Shows All Your Teachers Actually Hate You
• Retitling The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings
• New MG Sport: 12 Ball